I suppose this post was meant to be written about a month ago….but in all honesty I’ve been too busy living my life again and making up for lost time. As most of you all know, I got my final results from my PET scan to find out if I was in remission or not on Monday 3rd June. To be honest, when waiting in the waiting room for my name to be called I told my parents and sister that maybe they should go in without me. I had this overall sense of fear which is hard to describe to anyone as it’s like no other I have ever experienced, I didn’t want to find out the results just incase it was bad news. From my final chemo at the end of March to the beginning of June I’d been living in this bubble and I felt like I was just starting to get my life back and I didn’t want this to be ripped from underneath me once again.
My name was finally called and my doctor was so calm. I know from previous that you can tell what’s coming the moment you see your doctors face; she was smiling. The moment she told me I was in remission and that I had been from around January when I had an emergency scan to check for a blood clot. I just couldn’t stop crying, for me it still hasn’t really sunk in even now. The last few months really do feel like a horrible nightmare, when you’re going through it you don’t really think about what is going on, until after.
You might be wondering out of curiosity, what happens now? Well apart from all the holidays, copious amounts of alcohol and trying to get my body back in shape to how it was before this shit storm, I have to have a blood test every 3 months to make sure everything is still on track and that I’m still in remission, my next blood test is in September. I’m probably not going to write about it so lets just say, no news on here is good news…in fact this is probably the last post I’ll write again, don’t get me wrong I love writing them but why this is most likely the last is purely because I don’t think people are interested in my day to day life of what I get up to on a daily basis…
I just wanted to say a huge thank you to you all for taking the time to read all my posts of me rattling on and moaning about what was happening, I like to think that you’ve all experienced this terrible journey with me. People ask me if I’m sad after everything that’s happened to me and don’t get me wrong I’m still sad I lost my hair, but I do count myself as lucky in a way. I’ve had a wake up call at a young age which I didn’t deserve but it has made me eternally grateful for the life I have, for my health (now) and for the people I have around me. I have realised that I am more than what I look like, I’ve learnt more about myself in the last few months then I have ever before. I’ve learnt that I’m strong, I’m a fighter and I don’t give up. It’s opened my eyes up to what I have and what life is really about, being healthy and happy, everything else is really quite insignificant.
I hope this journey of mine has opened up your eyes too.
Lots of love,
Grace xo
