If you haven’t noticed by now that I’m not very hot on the blog updates then you clearly haven’t been reading carefully lol. Some of you may have remembered that March (the current month) is my FINAL CHEMO MONTH. As I am writing this, I am currently trying to recover from my penultimate chemo and I have my final session slowly creeping up on me in 8 days and 18 hours, not that I’m counting… I thought I would update you all on the past month and what happens next for me after next Thursday.
Since my last post about convincing myself that I had a blood clot, I have tried to focus on spending my few good days that I have between chemos with my family and friends to try and distract my mind from the anxious and negative thoughts that come hand in hand with the drugs and unfortunately any diagnosis. Spending time with my family and my boyfriend’s family for me, helps me cope. It brings a sense of normality back into my life where not every conversation is about cancer and what is going on but instead we talk about other things and about the future. I’m treated like the same person I was pre-cancer. The same happens when my friends return from university, I treasure those moments and I love to hear about what they have been doing as it does bring that same sense of normality back into my life. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I actually can’t wait for the day when someone asks me how I am and I can happily say ‘yeah I’m good thank you’ - I cannot wait to be boring again!! :D
This leads me to where I currently am, I had chemo 11 last Thursday and have spent the weekend and beginning of this week trying to recover. Each chemo really is getting harder and they do take longer to get over. Both the side effects on my body and mind create a glorious concoction in my body, which is fighting so hard and I’ve never been prouder of myself then I am right now. I’m not going to lie or sugar coat it, but It has been hard, really hard and I think only now is it just starting to sink in to my head and register what has actually happened to me over the past 6 months, to put it politely, it’s been a whirlwind.
So, what next? Well after next Thursday, I’m left once again to go through the dreaded chemo hangover…one last time. I will then see my consultant a week later to arrange my final PET scan which will hopefully be about 6 weeks after my last chemo. I should then receive the results and hear the words I have dreamt about from the very first day I found out I was poorly in mid September about a week or two after the scan. After that I can then focus on officially starting to rebuild my life back up again and begin to put these past 6 months all behind me.
The next time I write a post, I’m hoping it will be to tell you all that I got my results and received my all clear and that I will be in remission…and who knows I may even have some hair by then too!?!
Please keep everything crossed for me and keep me in your prayers,
All my love,
Grace xo
